Have you experienced moments when sex unexpectedly becomes painful? You are not alone – pain during sex is surprisingly common, it’s just that it’s not commonly spoken about! Here, we take a look at what could be the underlying cause, and provide you with practical tips to help restore pleasure and comfort in your most intimate moments.
Is it normal for sex to hurt?
Discomfort during sex is not normal by any means, but it is more prevalent than you may realise. Women can be hesitant to discuss this intimate issue – even with their doctors. Pain during sex can be attributed to a variety of causes, one of the most common being vaginal dryness. Sometimes, a lack of lubrication during intercourse can cause not only friction, but pain during penetrative sex. The hormonal changes that occur during menopause – namely the reduction in oestrogen – can cause vaginal dryness, reduced elasticity, and tissue weakening which can lead to pain during penetration.
Infections are also a common cause of painful sex, and frustratingly, you may not even know that you have one! That being said, two very common infections which you’ve probably heard of that can have an impact are yeast infections and Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs). A condition you’ve probably heard little about but that is becoming an increasingly common cause of pain during sex is vaginismus, the involuntary tightening of the muscles around the entrance of the vagina. It can cause both distress and pain upon penetration. Vaginismus treatment involves injecting muscles relaxant into the muscles around the vagina, combined with psychosexual counselling and the use of dilators. This has been shown to be very effective.
And of course, sex is not just about the physical aspects – the environment we’re in and how we’re feeling play huge roles in making us feel ‘in the mood’. Our emotions can get in the way of us having sex, more often than expected. Stress, worry, or relationship problems can all have an impact on sexual arousal which may result in pain.
For individuals and couples who wish to have healthier and more pleasurable sex lives, recognising any discomfort during sex is the first step towards achieving this goal. It’s important to communicate openly with your partner, as pain during sex can quickly grow into a much larger issue if not dealt with quickly. Recognising that there may be an issue is the step that will enable you to seek help to establish the root cause and get effective treatment.
How to avoid pain during sex: Practical tips
If you are experiencing pain during sex, there are a few techniques you can try at home in the first instance. These include prioritising foreplay and finding arousal mentally first, using lubrication in the form of oils and gels, communicating more openly with your partner, and trying relaxation techniques, like meditation.
If these don’t make a difference, then it may be time to seek advice from your GP or gynaecologist who will be able to provide medical intervention where necessary.
Get back your confidence back
Pain during sex can really knock your confidence and it can be hard to get that back. Taking this issue seriously and seeking help as soon as possible can be key to regaining your confidence and having a pain-free sex life once more. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this and there are many effective treatments that can help.
